Friday, February 15, 2019

THE ORPHAN SCRIVENER -- ISSUE # ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN -- 15 FEBRUARY 2019

This issue of Orphan Scrivener is being composed to a soundtrack of howling and gusty winds punctuated by occasional loud rattles and scrapes as flying branches attempt to force an entry. Wordsworth compared this sort of weather to a sightless labourer whistling at his task, a wonderful word picture of the ill winds so many have suffered of late. And while we won't claim they are necessarily wonderful, read on for more words from storm-battered Casa Maywrite...


MARY'S BIT or THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE!

Last newsletter we mentioned three of our household appliances conked out within a month or so of each other. Now our nerves have recovered somewhat this is the saga.

To begin with, there was the Curious Case of the Conked-Out Cooker. The poor thing had been ailing for a while and was the first of the trio of appliances to be replaced. The oven had begun over-heating no matter how we tried to fool it by setting it lower than required, and the oven door had taken to falling open without warning. Until its replacement arrived we effected a temporary fix by taping the door shut as needed. Hands up those who knew heat melts the glue on package tape?

Regular readers of Orphan Scrivener may recall we related in 2003 * how, using only two hammers and a pair of semi-stripped screwdrivers, we took apart a washer to get it out of the bathroom without having to remove the door or part of a wall. Going by still visible scars, one or the other or both were needed to get the full-sized machine in there, Casa Maywrite having narrower doors than most houses. Including those leading outside. It's an architectural feature giving a new twist on Ogden Nash's observation that doors were things dogs were always on the wrong side of. At least the canines could enter or exit when their door was open.

Our replacement apartment sized washer did sterling work for over a decade and with only two knobs to set was beautifully simple to run. Until it downed tools and refused to work. Alas, it turned out few top loader models were still available and those that were all too wide to fit through our doors. The new front-loader took about three weeks to arrive so when delivered it had a good initial work-out catching up on laundry. It took a few run-throughs to wrassle its fancy electronic controls into submission and there's still a lingering impression that when the back is turned the LCD display lights up and forms the shape of an evil eye. Had he been alive today M. R. James (he roolz!) could do a lot with that possibility and I don't mean his laundry.

By then much colder weather was coming in fast and in solidarity with its fellow appliances the heating went on strike two days after it was turned on. And why not? It brought a litany of complaints to the table: both zone valves were useless but for different reasons -- one had a bad end switch and the other was stuck. Also the thermostat was not doing its job properly, and the air scoop had become blocked by the high mineral content in our water. It took another couple of weeks to obtain the needed parts and then on his visit to install them the plumber realised the safety relief valve had also quietly silted up, so he replaced that while he was at it. Fortunately he had the right part in his van. Phew! That was a close one!

Now we are considering taking wagers on which appliance will malfunction next and the odds on finding a replacement that can pass through the doors.

* For newer subscribers that account appeared in Orphan Scrivener 21 at

http://home.earthlink.net/~maywrite/tos21.htm#washer


NECESSARY EVIL or THE BSP TICKER

And onward to the news...

A NEW DEVELOPMENT or CHANGES AHEAD

The start of a new year is traditionally the time when resolutions are made and new ventures kick off. So it was at the start of January, when Poisoned Pen Press announced it was now Sourcebooks' mystery imprint. Having been with PPP man and boy we await developments with keen interest. Meantime PW gives more details about the move at

https://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/industry-news/publisher-news/article/78863-poisoned-pen-press-will-become-sourcebooks-mystery-imprint.html

TRINITY KAUFMAN, AZAAN RANGEL, AND REED TILLY or STRUGGLING WITH NAMES

Sometimes it's difficult to come up with names for characters. Patti Nunn's Bookbrowsing blog on 13th February featured an essay on this very topic, wherein Mary offered some less obvious resources for digging up just the right nomenclature. From whence did Trinity Kaufman, Azaan Rangel, and Reed Tilly spring and what's the connection with Isis O'Reilly? All is revealed at

https://bookbrowsing.wordpress.com/2019/02/13/naming-your-characters-by-mary-reed/


ERIC'S BIT or IS IT OUT TO GET US?

It's 6:30 in the morning. Having stayed awake all night, I'm relieved to see the world outside the windows reappear in the pewter colored light before dawn. Sitting alone in the silence through the dark hours I begin to feel as if there's nothing left but me and the glowing screen of my laptop.

During the worst winter weather Mary and I take turns making sure the well pump runs periodically to keep the water line under the house from freezing. I'm on the night shift.

It's not so bad compared to squeezing into the crawlspace under the house to thaw the water line. Otherwise I'd surely have been forced to venture under there with temperatures falling to eleven below zero two nights in a row. And that's Fahrenheit below zero, not your wimpy Celsius below zero.

The last time the pipes froze -- and I do hope it's the last time -- we went to bed with running water and got up to find the drip we'd left on in the sinks had stopped. I turned on the taps but only a death rattle came out.

To get at the line, I had to dig frozen snow away from the panel covering the crawlspace entrance in the cinderblock foundation. Peering in I could see the orange lights on the trusty heat tapes coiled around most of the plumbing glowing softly through layers of dust and cobwebs. The tapes couldn't be extended to reach the full length of the water line where it emerges from the ground and through a hole in the outer wall towards the front of the house. Don't ask me why. I'm not a plumber or an electrician.

I got down on my hands and knees and squeezed into the tight space under the house, only a couple cinder blocks high, too narrow for me to roll over on my shoulder in some spots. It's a bit like being inside a sub-zero MRI machine, filled with dirt, hanging insulation, and criss-crossed by wires and pipes. At least the monstrous spiders that lurk under there were all frozen solid.

I managed to push and pull myself over to where I guessed the problem was and directed the heat gun into the rubble-filled mouth of the line's den. At that point the doubts arrive. What if it won't thaw this time, or the plastic pipe bursts? Water and electricity don't play well together, do they? It felt like hours before I heard loosened ice rattling up the line and Mary called down from above that the water was back. Probably it didn't take more than fifteen minutes before I was able to return from the underworld.

So as the sun rises I've avoided that adventure this time. Mary insists this house isn't out to get us, but sometimes I wonder.


AND FINALLY

We'll close with belated but sincere good wishes to our subscribers for this new year, and a reminder the next Orphan Scrivener will roll into their in-boxes on April 15th, a date unfortunately easy to remember.


See you then! Mary R and Eric

who invite you to visit their home page, to be found hanging out on the virtual washing line that is the Web at http://home.earthlink.net/~maywrite/ There you'll discover the usual suspects, including more personal essays, a bibliography, and our growing libraries of links to free e-texts of classic and Golden Age mysteries, ghost stories, and tales of the supernatural. There's also the Orphan Scrivener archive, so don't say you weren't warned! Our joint blog is at http://ericreedmysteries.blogspot.com/ Intrepid subscribers may also wish to know our noms des Twitter are @marymaywrite and @groggytales Drop in some time!


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