ERIC'S BIT or THE SCHOOL OF HARD ROCKS
Returning from the post office yesterday morning I noticed the green shoots of day lilies jutting up through the brown leaves driven against the wall of the house by winter's winds. Aside from mowing around the ferns, allowing them to continue their steady advance from the woods, we don't do any gardening here, surrounded as we are by trees and perpetual shadow, with soil that's half rocks and half tree roots. The day lilies take care of themselves.So although many people's fancies turn to gardening this time of year, ours do not. I've been to the school of hard rocks. I've learned through trial and tribulation and error galore that plants need sun on their leaves and water and soil under their roots. Two hours of filtered sunlight might look sufficient to a bipedal mammal but a tomato plant knows better. And so far as I'm aware they don't manufacture fertilizer that contains sunlight.
I grew up surrounded by green thumbs. My grandparents both came from farms and after moving to town they turned their big double lot into a farm in miniature with more vegetables than grass. My grandfather grew rutabagas so huge he needed a yard tractor to pull them out -- or so he told us kids. My father followed in the family tradition. He performed feats like starting an asparagus bed from scratch.
And me...I grew kale once. By the time I chose to harvest it, the leaves were so tough you could've made a poncho out of them and that was after they'd boiled in a pot for four hours.
I've spent my life in apartments and houses with yards inimical to plants. In one place I did my best to carve out a flowerbed in the tiny backyard which had its sustenance perpetually sucked out by my neighbor's massive oak tree. The soil was nothing but a spongy mesh of fine roots. No matter how frequently I dug, the insidious roots would slither back to strangle anything I planted.
In another place I gamely planted flowers and vegetables in the gravel at the end of an electrical contractor's parking lot. I reckoned enough sunlight would get in across the open parking lot of the car dealership across the alley. The portulaca liked it. One year. But plants need dirt, not gravel.
When I moved from Brooklyn to New Jersey I was thrilled to see dirt behind the house whose top half I was renting. True, the dirt was on the almost vertical slope at the top of the retaining wall above the garage, where a precipitous hill ran up to the backyards of the mansions on the street overlooking Manhattan. Still, it was dirt. Life-giving dirt. In Brooklyn, even the park across from the apartment had been paved.
I conceived an audacious engineering scheme. I would terrace the hill. It would be the Hanging Gardens of Weehawken. In the end, after countless blisters and buckets of soil I ended up with five punky radishes and two wretched tomato plants. Every morning I could see my elevated garden through the kitchen window -- those pathetic, fruitless tomatoes a daily, desiccated reproach to my youthful hubris.
So now I am done with trying to force vegetables and flowers to grow under inhospitable conditions. I am happy to watch the ferns creep ever nearer to the house and to see the moss supplant the grass. I am happy to let Nature have her own way and to take the day lilies she offers me.
NECESSARY EVIL or THE BSP TICKER
It's been a busy time since last we met, resulting in a longer than usual BSP section. Make yourself a sandwich and proceed on the journey!
THE VOYAGE BEGINS or TENFER IS LAUNCHED
Last month Ten For Dying, flags flying proudly, sailed off towards the horizon. Readers now have an opportunity to chime in with their thoughts. At this uncertain time we think of the unfortunate author whose book was described in a 1915 issue of Punch as "an unvarnished tale...fashioned according to the naive method of simple enumeration and bald assertion, with such subsidiary trifles as characterisation left to the discretion and imaginative capacity of the reader". Ow!
VIOLENT KITCHEN UTENSILS or OUR STRANGEST RESEARCH QUESTION
In a double interview we talked to Terry Odell about such diverse topics as what kitchen utensils we would be, the strangest thing we've done in the name of research, and what sits on our desks. Point your clicker to Terry's Place for the March 11th entry for the skinny at http://terryodell.com/terrysplace/?p=4601
A FIERY DEATH or TIPPLERS BEWARE!
On March 18th Mary contributed A Fiery Death: Spontaneous Combustion in Literature and Life to the Relevant History feature on Suzanne Adair's blog. Instances of this terrible death took place in Two For Joy -- not to mention Bleak House -- but did you know the phenomenon was presented as a defence in a 1847 murder trial? Info on this and other occurrences at http://www.suzanneadair.net/2014/03/18/fiery-death-spontaneous-combustion-in-literature-and-life/
HOW COLD WAS IT? or SOCKING IT TO WINTER
Longfellow thought snow was beautiful as it silently fell on the roofs of the living and the graves of the dead, but he wouldn't have been so quick to admire its artistic effect had he experienced this past winter's nose-bleeding cold weather carried on the polar vortex express straight from the innermost circle of Dante's hell. On 19th March over at Joanne Tropello's Mustard Seed blog Mary presented a new method of measuring cold: The Sock Index. Our highest index mark was the three-sock level. What about you? https://www.mustardseedmarketinggroup.com/4/post/2014/03/mary-reed-marymaywrite-is-a-guest-at-the-authorscornerblog.html
A DIALOGUE WITH DAMES or PSSST, WANT TO KNOW A STRANGE TIDBIT?
Another interview appeared on April 2nd on the Dames of Dialogue blog, wherein one of us revealed a strange tidbit about their life and the other declared an opinion on whether or not characters are in charge. There's more of course, so point your clicker at http://damesofdialogue.wordpress.com/2014/04/02/writing-duo-mary-reed-and-eric-mayer-answer-the-dames-dozen/
A TAXING TIME or GRINDING OUT A LIVING
We finally wrassled our tax returns to the floor on 6th April, the day after Lorie Ham of Kings River Life Magazine announced its reprint of Mary's essay concerning occupations that, like the Norwegian blue, are no more. You know, organ grinders and strolling sellers of bird cages, violets, household necessaries, and pornography, that sort of job. But have they really all gone? Maybe not. http://kingsriverlife.com/04/05/grinding-out-a-living/
MARY POSES A QUESTION or HISTORY, HERSTORY
Inspired by Edgar Wallace's declaration that the best stories he had heard were those related by ordinary people, Mary asked Did You Ever Hear That Story About...on Lelia Taylor's Creatures and Crooks blog on April 8th. We've all got one! Ours was when a gentleman unknown to us recognised a name in the acknowledgements for one of our novels and enquired at the press if he could be put in touch with the other party...the rest of the story at http://cncbooksblog.wordpress.com/2014/04/08/did-you-ever-hear-that-story-about/
YES, THERE'S MORE AHEAD or IT'S THE DRAG OUT YOUR CALENDAR AND JOT DOWN A REMINDER SECTION
A couple of blogs will appear between now and the next issue of Orphan Scrivener, and you wouldn't want to miss anything now would you?
A WHALE OF A TALE or WHEN WE PUT ON OUR INVENTING HATS
Do you find automatons as fascinating as we do? Several appear in Three For A Letter and they are the subject of Mary's April 18th contribution to the Type M For Murder blog. While most of the engineering marvels mentioned in Threefer are from the writings of Heron of Alexandria, the mechanical whale playing an important role in the plot was our own invention, formed from certain of Heron's instructions and our own fevered imaginations. Details at http://typem4murder.blogspot.com
MORE ON THE 18th or THE BUS MUST BE LATE
Mary will be occupying her usual April 18th slot over at the Poisoned Pen Press multi-author blog. Being as the Muse is apparently still waiting for the bus to Casa Maywrite, a topic has yet to occur so we can't tell subscribers what it will be, but even so, there's bound to be something of interest whatever day you decide to pop over there and browse around http://www.poisonedpenpress.com/category/news-and-blog/
