Tuesday, June 15, 2004

THE ORPHAN SCRIVENER -- ISSUE # TWENTY-SEVEN -- l5 JUNE 2004

The recent transit of Venus across the sun caused a fair bit of excitement, not to mention publication of a barrel o' splendid photos underlining humanity's long fascination with various sorts of eclipses.

There have been only a few solar eclipses during our lifetimes, and strange indeed they were to experience, with that disquieting and marked drop in temperature, a deathly silence falling as birds gradually stop twittering, and strangest of all the contemplation of dancing, crescent-shaped points of light beneath trees when all around us ordinary light, albeit of a greenish hue, is as "solid" as ever.

Speaking of turning a greenish hue, readers may well do the same when they spot this latest Orphan Scrivener swim into view through the aether, its imminent arrival casting a shadow over their sunny summer day. Never mind, it doesn't arrive all that often, so ratchet up the fan, grab yourself an ice cream sandwich, and read on.


MARY'S BIT or YOUTHFUL FORTITUDE

Jack Frost came a-calling on Gibson Street, leaving a bouquet of ice flowers and rime ferns traced out on the insides of our windows overnight.

Under a Wedgewood blue sky plumed with palls of smoke from countless coal fires and factories the thick snow that had fallen while we slept lent a temporary dignity to the surrounding sea of smoke-blackened bricks and slate roofs and deadened the noise of vehicles passing along Coatsworth Road.

Although it can be cold and there's usually a fairly brisk wind coming off the river, it doesn't snow all that often up north. Women living in our street improvised boots by tying plastic bags over their chunky-heeled shoes, a common though dangerous makeshift measure -- and particularly so if we guttersnipes had had time to make ice slides on half-cleared paths before adults ventured out to go to work or on a message, as running an errand was known.

Already on this particular morning a swift sorty or two to shufti around the corner revealed our traditional enemies in the next street had reached an advanced stage in the construction of a defensive wall. Raids were obviously in the offing.

The boys from our street therefore decided to build not only a wall but also a fort in the narrow back lane running between the back yards of our row of terraced houses and those belonging to the next street, Scarcely pausing long enough to toss a snowball at us girls or even shove snow down the backs of our coats or into our wellies, the lads set to work with a will, running up and down with their arms full of snow, knees blue and knobby under the short trousers boys wore then, soot speckled slush soaking into their jackets and home-knitted Fair Isle v-necked sweaters. (Rreaders have likely seen Tristan Farnon wearing the grown-up version).

Whether or not they had obtained inside information on our opponents' battle plans from eavesdropping after climbing up and lurking behind timber piled on the roof of the garage on the corner of our back lane -- a favoured spot of the boys from the next street, who routinely gathered there to plan their latest mischief and occasionally smoke cigarettes stolen from their parents -- we mere lassies did not know. However, it transpired the building of this fort was so urgent we were recruited to toil on the task, a joint effort hitherto unknown.

Looking back, I wonder why we only built one wall and not two. Obviously, if raiders from the next street circled around, crossed the foot of our back lane, ran up our street, and then turned left for a short distance they could attack us from the unprotected rear. But the decision was to build one wall, and one wall was built.

Staggering up and down, hauling lumps of snow patted into blocks with waterlogged gloves that froze to fingers and snow with equal impartiality, we soon had the lone wall built, cementing it together with more snow pounded between its blocks. The fort was a more casual affair, formed from a large amount of snow piled against a stretch of wall between two back yard doors and hollowed out igloo fashion by scooping away the inside of the pile in the time-honoured manner utilised the world over by children building sand forts.

Take that! we thought somewhat prematurely, standing back to briefly admire our handiwork before proceeding to the equally important task of making a goodly supply of snowballs to have on hand when the attack finally came. Some of these missiles (I am sorry to say) had small stone hearts. It was war, you see, and nasty indeed can be the wars of childhood.

Suddenly from the next street there came the sound of a muffled, dull, drawn-out "crrrruuuump", coupled with a low thud that shook our fillings.

Abandoning our igloo and defensive wall we rushed up the lane, turned left at the empty stable where some poor horse once lived far from fields and pastures but which was now only occupied by rats, raced along the short cross alley, and burst out into the next street.

Down the hill to our right clouds of dust were falling lazily, brown snowflakes laying a concealing blanket over a chaotic scene. A huge pile of bricks, tangled curtains, and smashed furniture had fallen into the street. It was obvious at a glance the front walls of several houses in the row had been blown out, presenting a view reminiscent of a giant doll's house with the front opened up. We could see the patterns on bedroom wallpaper, the colour of painted walls of staircases that led from landings of splintered wood and broken bannisters down into a muddle of masonry and bricks.

We stood agape as a terrible quiet fell along with dust and plaster.

Then an adult rushed by on their way to the local phone box to summon aid as neighbours began pulling bricks and splintered doors off the pile. It must have reminded them of war time.

Soon we heard ambulance bells clanging harshly from the direction of Bensham Road. One of these vehicles tried to take a short cut up our back lane but couldn't get past our snow wall, so it had to hastily reverse out, continue along the road crossing the foot of both our street and the next, and so up to the site of the explosion. We all later heard at some length from the grown ups about our handiwork and how it had blocked the way, and we also gleaned the cause of the disaster was reckoned to be an elderly lady had turned on her gas stove and then forgotten to light it. Or possibly the flame had blown out and she had not realised gas had been escaping for some time before attempting to relight it. A third theory was it was due to a gas leak from the mains.

So far as we ever found out nobody was killed although there were said to be injuries. The lesson we learnt that day was not to block narrow ways, and although the small fry's raids on each other's streets continued, we never again built a wall or an igloo in the back lane.


NECESSARY EVIL or THE BSP TICKER

The ticker had only a short work day this evening, so just a couple of items to pass along this time around.

TWO ARE JOYFUL or GREECE IS THE WORD

We recently learnt that Govostis Govostis Publisher S.A. of Athens (in European, not the southern US) has purchased Greek rights to Two For Joy. No further details yet, but subscribers may recall Govostis issued a Greek edition of Onefer about l8 months ago so it seems likely John's fellow countrymen are enjoying reading about his adventures.

ANOTHER MYSTERY SOLVED or FOUR AND A BOY

If readers happen to have been looking for the iBook mass market paperback of Fourfer (it leapt fo(u)rth into the world earlier this month) only to be told it was "not in the system", it might be worth enquiring if it's lurking in there under nom de littérature Four And A Boy, as was reported by a reader on the east cost. The book itself has the correct name on its cover along with an interesting subtitle: A Lord Chamberlain Mystery. Class may discuss conclusions to be drawn from this.


ERIC'S BIT or HOW NOW SNOW PLOW?

Mid-June is as good a time as any for us to talk about snow, when the memory of the last storm has faded and the next lies too far in the future to worry about.

It isn’t so much snow I hate as the cold it needs not to melt. Snow can be beautiful -- on the other side of a window. If it covered the landscape on a hot summer day it would probably be pleasant enough to walk around in it. Snow is wasted on the winter.

Occasionally, when I was a kid, I braved the frigid elements to play, however briefly, in the snow. Building snowmen was fun, until my mittens soaked through and my hands became as numb and useless as a snowman’s stick arms. To be honest, I have about as much insulating fat as a stick, which is why I feel the cold more than most.

One winter my friends and I built a “flying saucer” run down a steep, wooded slope in our neighborhood. The banked chute wound through a threatening maze of trees. Wobbling and spinning downhill kept me a few degrees from hypothermia for an unusually long time before I had to limp home, shivering. When I pulled my slush-filled overshoes gingerly off and with some trepidation, I was happy to find that my feet were still inside even though I couldn't feel them anymore.

That fall of snow turned a hill in a patch of scrubby trees into an amusement park thrill ride. That’s what I think about when it comes to snow, its power to transform. When you wake the morning after a blizzard and peer into the whitened landscape outside, is there any doubt you have been transported to an alien world? One not quite fit for human life?

I remember the impossibly high drifts of my childhood. Suburban yards were turned into an Arctic wilderness. Our little mutt, Sandy, had to leap from footprint to footprint, or else be forced to burrow like a mole. Years later I hiked around through the unnatural, day-long twilight of a record setting snowfall. Unplowed streets ran imperceptibly into sidewalks and lawns. Street signs were capped and obscured with white. Fine, endlessly falling snow hung in the air like pale smoke. There were no sounds except the crunch and squeak of my own boots. I would not have been entirely surprised if I had returned to the house and found it gone.

It’s no accident, I think, that Santa drives a sleigh and children hope Christmas will be white. Santa and his flying reindeer seem so much more feasible in a snowy world. At this far remove from last winter's drifts, with a run of recent temperatures nudging ninety, I could almost dream of a white Christmas, rather than having a nightmare about it.

Running will keep even an assemblage of bones like me warm. I have been able to enjoy being out in the cold so long as I keep moving. At one time I used to run through the wooded park at the end of the block. One day I ventured out in the evening, immediately after a few inches of new snow had fallen. By the time I had passed the pond and jogged slowly along the paths near the far end of the park, there were no footprints. Tree trunks loomed darkly, and the undisturbed snow undulating over the uneven ground and covering every twig of every limb glowed violet in the deepening twilight.

It was then I saw my first and only albino squirrel. You would think a snowy landscape would be the worst place to see a white squirrel, but this one was circling around a black tree trunk the way squirrels always do, putting the trunk between me and it. I thought at first I was imagining things, but as I ran toward the tree, fast enough to surprise the squirrel, I got another glimpse of it and could even make out its pink eyes. Then it went claw-clicking out of sight around the far side of the trunk and vanished up into the snow laden branches.

It really is a different world when it snows, one that is even more enjoyable to contemplate in torrid mid June.


AND FINALLY

Although he might not have been talking about a June day as such, Henry James declared he considered "summer afternoon" the two most beautiful words in the English language. This sentiment is well and good when uttered in milder climes or during the warm but not overpowering days of early spring and late autumn, but already we've begun to hear the faint yapping of the steaming dog days of summer as they draw ever closer each day.

Speaking of dogs reminds us of cats and thoughts of felines lead to contemplating mice. And what has this to do with John and his world?. Well, it's our way of introducing a stop press news item. This very morning, even as we scurried about preparing to catapult this newsletter out into the world, we received a note from fellow mystery author Mark Terry. He is attending a professional conference at an Anaheim hotel about four blocks from Disneyland and had visited Downtown Disney, a shopping and restaurant area. And lo and behold, a book shop there was displaying the iBook edition of Fourfer in its mystery section.

And what's more, it was placed *face out*.

John has therefore managed to make his way into the Land of the Mouse, and we are pretty tickled about it, to say the least.

Returning to our muttons, or rather the fast approaching dog days, unfortunately for our subscribers by the time the next issue of Orphan Scrivener bounds into view the baying pack will have long since arrived at our collective doorsteps. We're off to buy a few shares in ice cream and cola manufacturers and hoping the summer heat won't be too bad, but in any event in the spirit of the well-known observation that misery loves company we'll see you all again on l5 August.

Best wishes
Mary R and Eric
who invite you to visit their home page, hanging out on the virtual washing line that is the aether at
http://home.epix.net/~maywrite/

Therein you'll find the usual suspects, including more personal essays and an interactive game as well as an on- line jigsaw puzzle (if you have a java-enabled browser) featuring One For Sorrow's boldly scarlet cover. For those new to the subscription list there's also the Orphan Scrivener archive, so don't say you weren't warned!


Thursday, April 15, 2004

THE ORPHAN SCRIVENER ISSUE # TWENTY-SIX l5 APRIL 2004

As T. S. Eliot observed, April is the cruellest month and although we suspect he may have been casting a thought in the direction of Tax Return Day, of course the fortunate fellow wot not of Orphan Scrivener. Alas, our subscribers' luck just ran out, for this latest issue arrives (as you see) to contribute to the annual insult that is April l5th.

Some have derived the name of the month from the Latin aperire (to open), April being when leaves start unfurling in the green mist that spreads over hill and vale and heralds spring. Appropriately, then, April is now when -- having fought our way through the foggy wasteland that is the Form l040 instruction booklet -- we open our cheque books and send slips of paper representing green-backs off to the Department of the Treasury.

Those living in the l800s considered April to be ruled by diamonds, which in the Language of Jewels denoted innocence. It therefore seems a pity US tax returns are not due in March, for according to this charming Victorian belief, that month is ruled by bloodstones, representing courage. We therefore salute those subscribers with the courage to wrassle tax returns into submission *and* read this newsletter on the same day. Read on, ye innocents!


ERIC'S BIT or RED STAR, SILVER LINING

As Mary could attest, my philosophy is that every silver lining is just trying to draw our attention away from the enormous, menacing black cloud looming behind it. This is why I can find something worrisome in Five For Silver's recent starred review from Publishers Weekly.

Now please bear with me. On the one hand I naturally take some pride in our books, but on the other I'm uncomfortable saying much about it, though I'm told I ought to do so for publicity purposes. Admittedly one could hardly say "Please read my book, it isn't very good", but I have been subjected to all too many strutting and crowing authors to want to appear as such myself. See the poet Crinagoras in Five For Silver, for example. What's more, to attempt to discuss a negative aspect of a book's success is to veer perilously close to what I might term "Ruth territory".

"Ruth" was a perfect girl in my grade school classes, who was not named Ruth (I'm protecting the innocent and all that...) Of course, she had endless reasons to brag, but being perfect, she couldn't. Instead there would be exchanges such as:

Ruth: "So what'd you get on your report card?"

Eric: Mostly 'A's. "Except a 'B' in Arithmetic."

Ruth: "A 'B'? You got a 'B'? Really? Oh let me see! Oh gee...you're lucky...I wish I could get a 'B'. Its sooooo boring getting nothing but silly old 'A's every time."

Having said that, I hope this is taken as the observation it's meant as rather than a disguised brag. The starred review, while most exhilarating did not strike me as an entirely positive thing. Because...now what? Either we get another (been there, done that) or we don't (abject failure, having had a star.) The strategy we've taken thus far is to try to make sure that successive books are different from each other in significant ways. We vary the tone, the mix of characters, the type of plot, thus avoiding the feeling that we have to continually top ourselves, by doing the same thing all over again...but better.

Thus there will be more sunlight in Book Six.

An even worse problem -- oh, yes, there's always worse -- is that I just can't put myself in a state of mind where I feel I'm writing anything worthy of a starred review anywhere. Generally I feel as if I'm writing something that would be sneered at by the editor of my college literary magazine, and I've been out of college 30 years. I've been writing stories of some sort with no success for decades, and the writing process, while I'm engaged in it, feels no different to me now than it did when nobody would give the results the time of day. The idea that what I'm laboring on will be criticized by a professional reviewer from Publisher's Weekly is just plain terrifying.

Then too, one shouldn't be contemplating reviews while writing. It is generally true, in any endeavor, that it can be disastrous to be worrying about the result when you should be concentrating on the process. I have enough problems figuring out which end of the sentence to place a word in, let alone wondering about anyone's reaction to the finished 75,000 word narrative.

So the way I see, good reviews are the first step on the slippery slope to writer's block.

However, having said that, I have to admit, when I saw that starred review, I not only felt misgivings, I also couldn't help thinking "Please, please...let Ruth read Publishers Weekly."


NECESSARY EVIL or THE BSP TICKER

Just a couple of news items this time around, but how wide apart their content!

ERIC QUOTED or THE GAME'S AFOOT

As we've occasionally mentioned, in addition to writing fiction and essays for Orphan Scrivener, from time to time Eric has been known to construct interactive fiction (text- based games). He was therefore honoured to be quoted in a recent Australian article devoted to this somewhat lesser known area of the scriveners' craft, which can be seen at http://australianit.news.com.au/articles/0,7204,9091818%5E15 388%5E%5Enbv%5E,00.html

RELIGION IN MYSTERIES or FICTION INVOLVING THE FAITHFUL

Mystery Readers Journal, a thematic quarterly review, will have two issues focusing on religious mysteries this year. As usual, each issue will contain reviews, articles and author essays. Part I, just published, offers essays from Julia Spencer-Fleming, Bernard Knight, Sharan Newman and many others, including (we are thrilled to report) several paragraphs from Casa Maywrite. On this occasion, among other things we talk about trying to capture a sense of living in 6th century Constantinople, a world steeped in religion, without becoming entangled in religious discussions, as well as how it was we came to invent a religion based on a Quadrinity. Part II will appear in June, but meantime you can check out MRJ's website at http://www.mysteryreaders.org

JOHN HAS GONE FORTH or FIVEFER GOES LIVE

Five For Silver was published last month and is therefore now darkening bookstore shelves on-line and off. And noir Fivefer certainly is, being set during the plague of 542. Peter, John's elderly servant, has a vision in which an angel tells him an old friend has been murdered, which turns out to be true. Thus John pursues his latest investigation in a city whose inhabitants are dying by the thousands every day, and death is murder's accomplice. Those who have not been able to flee Constantinople must deal with hunger, crime, and such abominations as a holy fool who dances with the dead, invades Empress Theodora's bath, and lives to tell the tale. And then...

MARY'S BIT or MAKING A READER ATRABILIOUS

Subscribers who've been with us for a while may recall that in Issue l3 (February 2002) we revealed a correspondent had clarified something that had exercised us for years, to wit the identity of obelist, as in Obelists Fly High, C. Daly King's l935 "locked room" mystery set aboard a lengthy flight. (Answer: Obelists are folk who mark passages they think significant in mystery novels. Are *you* guilty...?)

Discovering the meaning of obelist is a good example of when reading mysteries are educational, as I've also recently found to be the case when perusing several old mystery novels and random gothic tales. In doing so, my vocabulary has been enlarged by several unusual words, the meanings of which were established only after consultation with Messrs Webster, Funk & Wagnall, Wordsmiths to the Trade.

Even after their sterling lexicographical assistance, I remain unenlightened as to the meanings of one or two so far untraceable words. For example, beaupots, spotted in the description of a manor house garden. If it is not a typo for beauty spots, my guess is they might be large, decorative containers in which flowers and greenery such as geraniums or ivy are planted. And equally puzzling, what should the reader make of a reference to a Bolo form of government? From the context it appears nothing to do with either a machete or a string tie with a fancy clasp, but could well refer to Bolshevik rule.

I will admit to some surprise when a character "elaborated a cigarette". At first blush it seems, as the old catch-phrase declares, a good trick if you can do it. However, further investigation established that to accomplish this apparently remarkable feat all the smoker had to do was make an elaborate show of painstakingly lighting his gasper. Then again, a slim character's physique, described as an appanage of birth, gives a hint of its meaning, being something belonging to someone by right or custom. An example given was of land settled by a prince on his younger sons, and the author's word choice is particularly apt given that these days for many in the public eye their physical appearances are their fortune.

Then again, I took to rhodomontade (variant of rodomontade), meaning vain, empty boasting or ranting. Indeed, it strikes me as a good name for a provocative or controversial publication, although its euphonious nature might lead unsuspecting readers to expect a quite different type of content.

My impression is the authors of many of these older works assumed readers would be familiar with words in less common usage nowadays, just as Victorian writers in particular seem to take it for granted their mythological, literary, and poetic references (as well as occasional Latin or Greek phrases) would be immediately understood by their reading public.

There again, such readers occasionally needed a fair grasp of esoteric phraseology, although it's always fun to take a stab at guessing meanings before looking them up. However, had I perused William Harrison Ainsworth's Auriol or The Elixir of Life while this bubbling potboiler of a gothic novel was first serialised in the l840s instead of only a month or so ago, I'd doubtless have immediately known that menstruum is a solvent rather than an archaic musical instrument, a burette isn't a hair ornament but a glass tube. and athanor signifies an alchemical furnace instead of one of J. R. R. Tolkien's minor characters, if indeed any of Professor Tolkien's creations can be termed thus. Auriol also mentioned gourd-shaped cucurbites which, as it transpired, are not malformed vegetables, but rather rounded vessels forming part of a distilling apparatus. Further, I discovered from this same novel that a fauteuil is an armchair, and as for estrade (a dais or platform) how many homes these days can boast one, with or without a fauteuil, cucurbite, or athanor?

Ainsworth's novel certainly rattles along at a frantic pace as scenes jump all over, and at times under, the landscape. Its plot is so byzantine that the closer I reached its denouement, the more I doubted the author could tie up all the loose ends dangling hither, thither, and yon. As it transpired I was not far wrong, for I eventually discovered this narrative confusion was largely due to the order of the chapters having been mixed up in the e-text I was reading.

Far worse, however, was that the closing page or so were such let-downs they must surely have been enough to provoke readers of even the mildest disposition to become atrabilious to the extent of provoking rhodomontadic outbursts of a ranting nature. -


AND FINALLY

Speaking of provoking readers, this issue is being composed during what the Swan of Avon described as the uncertain glory of an April day inasmuch as it's sunny at the moment, but snow flurries are expected overnight. Even so, daylight hours are drawing out noticeably and by the time the next Orphan Scrivener trundles out we'll be into summer, with its seasonal delights of plump red strawberries and fragrant orange-fleshed melons, the delicate scent of roses, and (hopefully) time spent lounging in deck chairs in the back garden or at the seaside. Not to mention lots of good reading.

At this point subscribers may suddenly recall Ralph Waldo Emerson's observation that no matter what we do, summer unfortunately brings flies. In keeping with this, the next Orphan Scrivener will buzz irritatingly out to you on l5th June, the month represented by agate, signifying long life and good health. So if even the thought of the next newsletter's impending arrival gives you a headache, break out the aspirin well in advance and meantime take comfort from contemplating there's a reasonable possibility of being able to escape into enubilous meteorological conditions when our June 2004 issue casts its dark cloud over your email in-box.

See you then!

Best wishes
Mary R and Eric
who invite you to visit their home page, hanging out on the virtual washing line that is the aether at

http://home.epix.net/~maywrite/

Therein you'll find the usual suspects, including more personal essays and an interactive game as well as an on- line jigsaw puzzle (if you have a java-enabled browser) featuring One For Sorrow's boldly scarlet cover. For those new to the subscription list there's also the Orphan Scrivener archive, so don't say you weren't warned!

Sunday, February 15, 2004

THE ORPHAN SCRIVENER ISSUE # TWENTY-FIVE l5 FEBRUARY 2004

February must surely be the Wednesday's Child of the year. Despite its subtly lengthening days, this shortest of months routinely exhibits an unfortunate tendency to woe, with a middle o, and that rhymes with snow.

It has been said that snow and teen years are problems that, if you have the fortitude to ignore them for a sufficient length of time, will depart of their own accord. Well, we've been giving increasing piles of snow the cold shoulder (in more ways than one) for the past three months, but it just won't to take the hint, and instead continues to linger about the landscape like acrid smoke from a burnt dinner or house guests who've over-stayed their welcome.

Which latter social transgression we trust is not the case with this latest issue of Orphan Scrivener, which we now (as union-card-carrying relatives would say) put on the table for full and frank discussion.


MARY'S BIT or WOOLLY THINKING

When we were children 8'o-clock was set in stone as the time when we had to hit our sacks. It's true that by special parental dispensation we were allowed to stay up "late" some nights to listen to the Goon Show or Journey Into Space, but by l0 past 8 most evenings my sister and I were tucked up in our bunk-bedded snuggery in the attic.

Needless to say, we'd read by torchlight for at least an hour after retiring, secure in the knowledge that even if one of our parents came tippy-toeing up the long staircase that hugged three walls on its journey from the landing below, the loud creakings of its Victorian era wooden steps would warn us of their approach in good time to conceal books and torches under the covers.

However, a much more sinister type of approaching steps were heard once a week most weeks, since they were often featured in one of our favourite BBC radio programmes.

Presented under the title Appointment With Fear, the series featured half-hour plays introduced by the suitably sepulchral and sinister tones of Valentine Dyall, The Man In Black. In memory at least these dramas were replete with menacing footsteps tapping slowly along dark alleys and exceedingly strange noises at ungodly hours -- often emanating from fictional attics, I may add, which made the shadows in the corners of our sloping-roofed bedroom seem *much* more interesting after these plays ended. Between the best efforts of the BBC Sound Effects Department and the vivid imagination of the young, we could almost see the thick, swirling fog pressing close to the windows of some isolated mansion, muffling all sounds except the grandfather clock in the hall as it began its whirring run-up to striking the twelve chimes of midnight and the supposedly locked study door began to squeak open...

However, it wasn't until I looked up the programme this afternoon at http://www.britishdrama.org.uk/mib.html#FEAR that I learnt plays for the series were mostly originals written by John Dickson Carr, with a sprinkling of reworkings of classic tales by Stevenson, Poe, and other luminaries of weirder fiction, including (of course) an adaptation of The Monkey's Paw.

The format of Appointment With Fear involved Dyall's Voice of Doom book-ending each play as well as providing occasional mid-drama links. By modern day standards the stories were not that ghastly and whereas our mother always claimed eating cheese sandwiches before bed-time caused nightmares -- although I for one did not find it so -- this wonderful drama series did cause a problem of a related kind in that after having had our latest Appointments With Fear neither my sister nor myself wanted the job of turning off the light.

The difficulty arose because the light switch was (naturally enough) next to the door, on the far side of which stood the old, mesh-fronted radio. The door was several paces away from our bunk. Who knew what might be lurking with evil intent behind the wardrobe between the door and our side of the room, or for that matter under the lower bunk? Which, I may add, was my berth.

Well, with a bit of ingenuity we came up with a solution. The light switch was of a type long discontinued, consisting a short, protruding stub terminating in a tiny knob. In the UK, dowsing a light involves switching up rather than down. So we obtained an appropriate length of wool, tied it tightly under the head of the switch knob, and then ran it from there up over the top of the afore-mentioned wardrobe, down to the bunk, and so into our grubby grasp.

The following week, once the play had concluded, I switched off the radio, got back into bed, and gave our semi- automatic light-switcher-offer a good, hearty tug.

Unfortunately the wool broke.

Childhood sometimes inflicts sad disappointments.

Looking back, it now occurs to me that a piece of string would have been a better choice for the task, but for some reason that never occurred to us. We continued to listen to the plays and then have whispered arguments about who should get the dreaded task of turning radio and light off. As oldest, it usually fell to me, and groping my way back, it struck me more than once how long it takes to cross even a familiar room when your eyes have not adjusted to the dark and there might be something nasty waiting...

In a touch of irony the programme's producers would surely appreciate, I noticed on the website mentioned above a presentation in a later series was called A Day At The Dentist. Now *there* is a play whose sound effects I shudder to contemplate -- let alone its plot line.


NECESSARY EVIL or THE BSP TICKER

The BSP Ticker has picked up a wee bit of speed of late, so without further ado we'll let it rip!

AMAZING NEWS or LIES, LOVE, AND LACK OF LOQUACITY

We were speechless -- not something that happens often at Casa Maywrite -- when we recently heard Four For A Boy has been nominated for the first Bruce Alexander Historical Mystery Award. The award will be presented in about a week's time during the Left Coast Crime conference in Monterey. The other two nominees are fellow PPP scrivener Ann Parker for Silver Lies. Set during the silver rush, Lies revolves around Inez Stannert, a lady who runs a saloon/gambling joint in l879 Leadville, CO. Rhys Bowen, who writes about Irish immigrant Molly Murphy's adventures in l90l New York in For The Love Of Mike, is the third nominee.

MORE MYSTERIOUS MUTTERINGS or CONVERSING WITH CAROLYN

After our virtual voices returned, we chatted at length with Bellaonline's Carolyn Chambers Clark, who posed some very interesting questions concerning John's world. Our alibis, er, answers are freshly online and may be viewed at http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art16916.asp Our thanks to Carolyn for this opportunity to bend the virtual ears of her readers.

LOOKING AHEAD or CITING THE FIFTH

Speaking of John, his fifth adventure, Five For Silver, will soon sally forth into the world. While we don't wish to say anything incriminating, we will say it's something a bit different from early entries in the series. John's latest investigation is set during the plague of 542 and is undertaken after Peter, his elderly servant, is visited by an angel bearing a strange message which, it turns out, is true -- for an old friend of Peter's has indeed been murdered. Fiverfer will be published by Poisoned Pen Press on l March, so will be available momentarily. We hope you enjoy it.

ERIC'S BIT or A SPELL CAST BY WILLOWS

For years I've named Kenneth Grahame's The Wind In The Willows as my favorite book. My grandmother read to me the adventures of Ratty, Mole, Badger and Toad and I remember those evenings spent sitting and listening beside the rocking chair in her living room as my introduction to the enchantment of the written word. Our circle of orange lamplight and the shadowy Victorian furniture beyond would dissolve into the Wild Wood or Badger's warren and my grandmother's voice might have been the sound of the River by which the animals lived. But while I recalled clearly the spell cast by the words, I recalled very little of the words themselves.

So I decided to read the story again -- or rather to read it for myself for the first time -- a perilous undertaking after nearly 45 years. I was not disappointed. My grandmother's comforting voice has been stilled for twenty years and her cozy living room long-since remodeled by strangers. But Grahame's words still held the magic that had touched me so long ago.

There are the gorgeous descriptions of river, fields and woods in all their changing aspects throughout the seasons, creating a vivid, irresistible world. And of course the appealing characters, all save for some nefarious denizens of the Wild Wood, as friendly and caring a group as any child could wish, but with enough quirks and peccadilloes, from Badger's anti-social tendencies to Toad's manic irresponsibility, to appear real, hardly a bunch of boring do-gooders.

Then too, the book is mostly about home, the thing best known and most important to a child. Ratty and Mole and the rest are always safe in some lovingly described home, or going home on a cold night, or thinking about being at home in their own warm beds. Which is probably why it is so horrifying when Toad arrives back from his adventures to find Toad Hall occupied by weasels and stoats.

This is one of many harrowing scenes. Losing one's home, or being lost in the dark woods on a cold night as happens to Mole, or having one's freedom taken, a fate suffered by Toad when he is thrown in prison for stealing a motorcar, are not trivial matters. The fears they stir are deep, so The Wind In The Willows makes for exciting reading.

Grahame's world is not only filled with real danger, but with mystery. The Wild Woods and the far off Wide World both harbor things unknown. In one chapter Mole and Ratty encounter the god Pan, who strikes the memory from their minds. As children, like Grahame's animals, we readily accept our strange and contradictory state, creatures seeking mundane physical comforts, some cozy den, in a limitless universe full of mysteries and wonders beyond our comprehension. But as we grow older we too often take the comforts for granted and forget that the wonders exist. I think it might be Grahame's mingling of domesticity and awe that makes The Wind In The Willows a classic. Then again, trying to explain the book like that makes me wonder if I haven't just caught some of Mr. Toad's overwhelming conceit.

[Editorial note: Eric contributed this essay to the Fostoria, OH, Library's celebration of Children's Book Week a year or so ago.]


AND FINALLY

Speaking of the mingling of domesticity and awe, as Scarlett O'Hara memorably observed there is no convenient time for childbirth, death, or taxes. Given 2004 is a leap year, we do at least have an extra day and all of March before l5 April rolls around again, bearing on its back that pair of most inconvenient horrors, Tax Day and the next issue of Orphan Scrivener. Whereas filing tax returns can be put off beyond that date for a while, the arrival of our next newsletter is more than likely, so unless you leave the country or change your email address before then, we'll see you again on l5 April!

Best wishes
Mary R and Eric
who invite you to visit their home page, hanging out on the virtual washing line that is the aether at http://home.epix.net/~maywrite/

Therein you'll find the usual suspects, including more personal essays and an interactive game as well as an on- line jigsaw puzzle (if you have a java-enabled browser) featuring One For Sorrow's boldly scarlet cover. For those new to the subscription list there's also the Orphan Scrivener archive, so don't say you weren't warned!

The Orphan Scrivener -- Issue # One Hundred and Fifty-Nine -- 15 June 2026

The noiseless feet of time have been marching in double-quick cadence this last couple of months since in retrospect it seems only a few day...